Want Success? Listen more than you talk (aka, shut the F up)



Forbes shares the 12 habits of successful young leaders, here are my top 2 - click on the link below to see the full list.

Tip # 3: 'Listen More than you Talk' - This really resonated for me.
It had me reflect back on the first time I really discovered this for myself. My manager at the time (who was a complete nightmare to work for) gave me one piece of unforgettable advice: 'Tess, you should be speaking 20% of the time and listening 80% of the time, when you do that, you are unstoppable'.  As a recruiter, this was really hard for me to get my head around. However, as I started playing around with it - my craft, results and opportunities started coming in hard and fast. I unearthed so much about my candidates, my leaders and the people around me.  I learnt to create space for others to be seen and deeply heard. It put me on my path to becoming a leader. Maybe if I'd shut the f up sooner I would have figured out that that manager wasn't so bad after all.

This lil nugget of advice was a game changer for me.
How could you start practising listening more and talking less? Could you make a conscious effort to let others speak and not fill the silence? Could you walk into your next meeting and not drive the agenda? Watch what opens up. 

Tip #6:  'Be humble' - Now this one is a daily practice and if you don't think it is for you - you're full of shit. It's so easy to let our egos take over and run the show the minute we step in to the office, or make a mistake we don't want the CEO (or the wife) to find out about.
Our egos are present when we sit down at dinner with our girlfriends and start talking about how perfect our kids are (ya right!), or when we kill ourselves bench pressing an extra 20kgs when that babe at the gym walks by - my point being; where the real challenge is and what is truly difficult (and wonderful) is when we gain awareness to when our ego is leading us as opposed to when it's just us - aka, our true selves. 

The great leaders are the ones who show up with their humanness, failures and brilliance. The deeply successful leaders are the ones who can correct themselves mid sentence and say things like 'wait, can I have a redo on that, that was my ego talking'.  Whoa.

Have you ever seen your VP tidying up and washing dishes in the staff kitchen? I have. And I've never been more inspired to work my ass off for someone.

So tune in and start listening for who is talking - you or your ego friend? And by you, I mean - who you are meant to be, who you truly are. Because that's all the world wants to see.

Forward by, Tess Sloane, Talent Lab